汉字叔叔：中国父母，尊重还是义务（中英对照）
汉字叔叔：中国父母，尊重还是义务（中英对照）
晨雾 / 转帖
原创： 汉字叔叔
汉字叔叔是本文的作者。那么他是谁？为什么叫汉字叔叔？这要从一个网站说起：
有这么一个网站，当你输入一个汉字，这个汉字的甲骨文、金文、小篆等各种版本，都会展现在眼前。还有与此字有关的繁体、生字部分、有意部分、简化方法等项目，还有普通话、广东话、台湾话、上海话、日本话、韩国话读音和《说文解字》的解释。最主要的是你能在上面搜到每一个汉字的演变过程。在信息技术高度发达的今天，我们也许不认为这是什么奇迹。我们知道当前字典类工具书、中国的辞海、英国的大不列颠百科全书都能实现在线查询了。
可是当我们知道，上述网站并不是一个中国的语言文字机构所为，甚至不是中国人所为，而是一名痴迷中国汉字的美国人，花了20年时间，耗费了个人全部的财力，为了探索每一个汉字的根源所建立的开放性免费网络平台时，并且完全是公益行为的时候，就不能不赞叹了！这个美国人的名字叫做理查德·希尔斯（Richard Sears），被人称为“汉字叔叔”。
网站名称叫“Chinese Etymology”（汉字字源），网址是：
http://www.chineseetymology.org
汉字叔叔讲故事 8月23日
第104篇分享
关于中国父母
Most parents love their children. In America most parents raise their children and give them a life and don't really expect the Children to pay them back. The Children love their parents, and often help the parents in their old age, but they rarely think of it as "paying them back".
几乎没有父母不爱自己的孩子。
在美国，大多数的父母要养育孩子成人并且给他们提供生活保障，他们不期望孩子以后要回报他们。
长大后，孩子们也关心父母，有时候常常会看望他们，但是他们很少将这种行为看作“报答父母”。
It is the same in China for the most part. In China children are taught to respect their elders and when they get out in the real world, they customarily give money back to the parents. Some do it out of respect, some do it out of kind of a social obligation.
在中国，大部分情况也相同。小孩从小被教导要尊重父母，并且当他们进入社会后，他们通常还会拿钱回家交给父母。有些人这样做是出于尊重父母，还有些人则是出于社会责任。
If this "social obligation" gets to be too much of a burden, a person must make the only logical decision and that is that my life is more important than my parents. I must live my own life. This is a prevalent social issue in China.
如果这种“社会责任”超出了自我的承受范围，成为一种压力的话。
这样的话，我们必须要重新思考并且做出唯一合理的判断，那就是：自己的生活应该比父母的生活更重要。人长大后必须要过自己的生活。
这是一个普遍的中国社会问题。
Many Chinese parents control everything their children do from the time they are born. Piano lessons start at age 3, PhD in a subject selected by the parents or by the state ends at age 30, then get married to someone acceptable to the parents.
很多中国父母从孩子出生起就掌控孩子的一切事情。有的孩子三岁就被送去学钢琴，有的大人读博课程还要由父母决定，到了30岁左右毕业时，再找一个父母满意的人嫁了。
Well, that is not the way things should be. I have many friends who are very upset by this state of affairs.
好吧，事情不应该是这样子。但是我有很多中国朋友都苦于这种现状。
Hard Decision to Chase your Dream.
追求自己梦想路上的艰难抉择
My parents had some good qualities and some bad qualities. My father had in mind that I should be a certain kind of man. There was nothing particularly wrong with the kind of man my father wanted me to be, but I wanted to do something different with my live. That was the bad side.
我的父母身上有一些好的品质，也有一些不好的方面。我的父亲决意要将我培养成一个男子汉。这样的期待本身没有问题。但是我有着不同的志向，这就使我们之间产生矛盾。
The good side was that my parents for the most part encouraged me to have hobbies and interests. It was not all about them and getting good grades and doing what they wanted me to do. I also was allowed to pursue my own interests, as long it did not disagree too much with what they had in mind.
他们做得很好的是尽可能地鼓励我有自己的爱好和兴趣，并不一定要成绩很好，也不需要完全按着他们的要求去生活。
我可以自由地追求自己的爱好。只要与他们的心中的原则没有大的冲突就可以。
When I got older my hobbies and interests diverged from what my parents had in mind. It was my opinion that Medford Oregon was "Not fit for human habitation." I had in mind seeing the world.
当我长大后，我的爱好和兴趣开始和父母的期望违背。
我认为我长大的地方—俄勒冈州的美德福小镇是“不适合人生活的地方”。
我梦想着走出去看外面的世界。
I made plans to run away. I knew my father would never allow it. He would use all physical force to keep me at home. He was in the habit of trying to control everything I did. My mother knew I was planning on running away. She was afraid she would never see me again.
当时我计划着要从家里逃出来。我知道我的父亲一定会不同意，他会动用一切武力让我老老实实地待在家里。他习惯性地要掌控我的生活。我的妈妈知道我的计划，她很担心以后再也见不到我。
My mother said if I ran away she would commit suicide.
That put a lot of stress on me.
I asked myself whose life is it.
I made a hard choice.
I did not know if my mother would commit suicide.
我的妈妈说，如果我从家里跑掉了，她就去自杀。
这带给我很大的压力。
然而，我问我自己，我究竟要对谁的生活负责？
我做了一个艰难的抉择。
我不知道我的母亲会不会因此自杀。
I ran away.
The last days of school I would sneak stuff out of my house and hide it at my friends house. The last day of school I never went home. I gathered up my stuff and ran away.
我最终还是从家里跑出来了。
在学校的最后几天里，我偷偷把我的东西从家里搬出来，藏到朋友的家中。高中的最后一天结束后我没有回家。我把我的东西都打包好，然后逃了出来。
I did not stay away forever though. I went to Portland, got an apartment, got registered for in the University there, got a job and then after a couple of weeks called my parents and told them flatly I was staying in Portland, going to school and not coming home.
当然我没有一直在外漂泊。我去了波特兰，租了一个公寓。并且在那里的大学注册了，也找了一份工作。几周后，我和父母打电话坦白地告诉他们，我要留在波特兰，不要回家了。
They said OK.
They could not have forced me to come home anyway, I was over 18.
他们只好答应。
他们不能强迫我做什么，我已经超过18岁了。
Children are often faced with the question of whether they will follow their parents' wishes or whether they should follow their own dreams.
I know many young Chinese these days who are faced with similar dilemmas.
孩子们经常要被迫面对这个问题，是否他们应该遵从父母的意愿，还是他们要追自己的梦想。
我知道现在很多中国年轻的一代正在面对这样的困境。
Uncle Hanzi in Beijing 2013
信息来源：2018-08-23 微信公众号 汉字叔叔
